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Best Funny Happy New Year’s Resolutions 2019 For Canada

Check out the best Funny Happy New Year’s Resolutions 2019 for Canada. Share these funniest Happy New Year’s Resolutions 2019 with your family and friends on the New Year Eve 2019. These Funny New Year Resolutions 2019 will bring a smile on your face and make you happy. So have a look at these Happy New Year Funny Resolutions 2019.

Funny Happy New Year’s Resolutions 2019 For Canada:

Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word “stop.”
Pete Holmes

Already broke my New Years resolution to not cry in a Taco Bell bathroom.
Bucky Isotope

My New Year’s resolution is to figure out how to squeeze a 4th and 5th meal into my day.
Jacob Whitesides

Jen Doll
New Year’s resolution: try to worry less, fill that time with oh god what am I supposed to fill that time with this is already going terribly

I will start washing my hands after I use the restroom.
I will stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth.
I will stop licking frozen flag poles.
I will only get divorced and remarried once this year.
I will watch more movie remakes.
I will go back to school to avoid paying my student loans.
I will only eat white snow
I will keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I’m being interviewed.

Buy nice drinks rather than the cheapest ones – you’ll drink less, enjoy it more and have less of a hangover…What’s that? Four Messer Schmitts for a fiver?

I will open a new credit card with a higher limit to pay off my old credit cards once and for all. And finally start going to the mall again.
Erin LeFey

I vow to squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the end and not the middle. Unless I am trying to annoy my husband of course.
Mary Wickison

Delete the Facebook app from your phone and only log in to check it once a day.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
~ Mark Twain ~

I will stop exercising, because it is such a waste of time.

I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year!

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. ~ Mark Twain ~

Happy New Year Funny Resolutions

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn, and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables, and soy nuts.

Go to work without a hangover at least twice a week.

My New Years resolution is to try and put less than 4 chapsticks through the washer & dryer next year.
Shawn Booth

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

Technology-Related Resolutions
I will…
Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos on YouTube
Check my work e-mail account at least once this year
Switch my username to “password” and my password to “username” to make each a lot harder for hackers to figure out
Watch less T.V…. in standard definition
Stop buying worthless junk on eBay, because QVC has better specials
Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
Help kids stay safe by not texting on my cell phone while eating McDonald’s and speeding through crosswalks in school zones with a frost covered windshield
Avoid fingertip soreness by learning to play “Rock Band,” instead of a real guitar
Start a blog about how I would write more often if I had something important to write. Only make one blog entry and leave it published for years
Talk with a robot voice all the time

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