This blog post will provide you the best Funny New Year’s Resolution Quotes 2019 along with best New Year 2019 Joke Stories. You can also share these New Year 2019 Funny Resolutions Quotes with your family and friends and other loved ones. Also, update your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and WhatsApp account through these Funny New Years Resolution Quotes. Let’s have a look at these Funny New Year Resolution Quotes 2019 and best Funny Happy New Year’s Resolutions 2019.
20 Best Funny New Year’s Resolution Quotes 2019:
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
“I wish I didn’t watch [Dick Clark] because New Year’s Eve is that one little time when you get to suspend the disbelief that next year is going to be crap. You forget about it! You look at the person next to you and kiss them and say “Happy New year!” and you have a moment of happiness. I don’t want to be reminded at that exact moment of my own mortality.”—John Bowman
New Year’s Day … now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
~ Mark Twain ~
“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. Author Unknown
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
~ Anais Nin ~
The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise, when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
~ Leonard Bernstein ~
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
If ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember the Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too.
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
~ Mark Twain ~
New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
~ Mark Twain ~
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
~ Oscar Wilde ~
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
~ Eric Zorn ~
“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.”
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. – Bill Vaughan
I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
~ Robert Paul ~
“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”— Aleister Crowley, “Moonchild”
“It goes Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Is that fair to anyone who’s alone? If you didn’t get around to killing yourself on Christmas or New Year’s, boom, there’s Valentine’s Day for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine’s Day called ‘Are you still here?’”— Laura Kightlinger
“This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Seacrest out!’ after I ejaculate.”— Zach Galifianakis