Explore Funny Canada Day Quotes Sayings Jokes 2018

Explore Funny Canada Day Quotes Sayings Jokes 2018. Share these Funny Canada Day Quotes 2018 with your family and friends on the occasion of Happy Canada Day 2018.

Funny Canada Day Quotes Sayings

Explore Funny Canada Day Quotes Sayings Jokes 2018:

Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.
– Richard Benner


One day Canada will take over the US. It won’t be an invasion, it’ll be an intervention.
– Kelkulus


The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.


There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people


A constitution nursed upon the oxygen of our bright winter atmosphere makes its owner feel as though he could toss about the pine trees in his glee.


“Americans like to make money: Canadians like to audit it. I know no country where accountants have a higher social and moral status.” – Northrop Frye


Happy Birthday Canada Wishes

“I’m kinda disappointed that Canada isn’t like the South Park movie said it was.”
– Joel Madden


“Some countries you love. Some countries you hate. Canada is a country you worry about.” – Robertson Davies


Canada is not part of the United States. (It is part of Iceland.)
– Dave Barry


To enter the United States is a matter of crossing an ocean; to enter Canada is a matter of being silently swallowed by an alien continent.
– Northrop Frye


We Americans make jokes about how nice Canadians are, but let’s be honest: Being nicer than us is not a high bar.
– John Lyon


via GIPHY

My guest is explaining curling. Says people can only call foul on themselves. That may be the most Canadian thing I’ve ever heard.


To enter the United States is a matter of crossing an ocean; to enter Canada is a matter of being silently swallowed by an alien continent.
– Northrop Frye


“The US is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend… and sometimes we’d like to give them such a smack!”
– Rick Mercer


Nearly got in a car accident tonight. We both got out of our cars and apologized. It was very Canadian.
– Liz ‏@bestlizard

Funny Canada Day Quotes Sayings


Dear Canada,
Please come get your geese. They’re shitting on everything. Love, America
– Jack Boot @IamJackBoot


There are few, if any, Canadian men that have never spelled their name in a snow bank.
– Douglas Coupland


Scientists are baffled by Canadians’ ability to watch movies and play video games and not shoot each other.
– Danny Zuker


May you celebrate Canada Day hard enough to behave as belligerently as the average sober American.”


Time has come to send greetings, to wish your neighbours, to wish your family and friends, to wish your co-workers…. The best time of the year is here and we all are ready to party and celebrate….. Happy Canada Day!!!


Smile, laugh and enjoy….. It is Canada Day!!!! Party and celebrate because we became independent on this auspicious day….. Wishing you a blessed and joyous Happy Canada Day.


“Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.” – Pierre Trudeau


“I’m kinda disappointed that Canada isn’t like the South Park movie said it was.”
– Joel Madden


Funny Canada Day Quotes Wishes

I had a member of the Canadian parliament follow me today & all of a sudden I find I have an opinion about maple syrup usage taxes.
– Aristotles


Let us come together to wish Canada a very Happy Birthday. Let us celebrate this auspicious day with great fun and frolic. Sending warm wishes to you on Canada Day. Have a blast!!!


“I believe the world needs more Canada.” – Bono

Canada Day Short Jokes 2018:

A French guest, staying in a lodge in Edmonton phoned room service for
some pepper.
“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.
“Toilette pepper!”


An American, a Scot and a Canadian have been in a horrible car twist of fate.
They have been all added to the equal emergency room, but all 3 of them died earlier than they arrived.
Just as they had been about to place the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the docs and nurses present requested him what occurred.


The original name for Canada dreamed up by way of a parliamentary committee in London, changed into “Cold North Dominion,” however that was too lengthy, in order that they abbreviated it to C.N.D. The King’s Royal Governor supplied the new call to the inhabitants, however, they failed to say a word. “Well, what do you think?” requested the Royal Governor? “C, eh?” stated the first fellow, and simply checked out the Governor. “N, eh?” says the second one man. “D, eh?” says a 3rd one. Then silence. “Hey,” says the Governor. “I like that. It’s a helluva lot less complicated to pronounce when you spell it that manner.” And this is how Canada was given its name. 🙂

I’d want to ask you: How do you spell Canada? Answer: C-Eh!-N-Eh!-D-Eh!


Every time I pay attention a mean joke approximately being Canadian, I go to the health center and get my feelings checked at no cost. A man becomes strolling along the Beaches vicinity in East Toronto while he spotted a bottle floating in Lake Ontario. The bottle drifted ashore. He picked up the bottle and opened it, and out popped a Genie. “Master, Master you have launched me from my bondage on this bottle, ask any three wishes and I will grant them to you.” The man thought for a moment and stated, “I would really like the subsequent three matters to manifest this 12 months — The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series and The Toronto Raptors win the NBA identify.” The Genie notion approximately this for a second and jumped lower back into the bottle.


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